Maybe

“Remember in High School, you had a fight with A and A told you this and that and you replied back with something so hilarious? Watching both of you bickering was really funny.”

“Yes I do remember that instance we were really immature at that time. Don’t you remember A?”

“Huh? Uhmm? Haha. When did that happen? Oh really? Haha”

When people around you recall a moment or an event that you were involved and they talk about it like it just happened yesterday and you are in the corner trying to regain that memory which might have been stored somewhere in your brain but with much effort you can’t seem to remember at all. It even feels like those people are just doing some pranks and are just making up stories just to blow your mind.

What if I lost most of the memories that I have on a certain stage of my life because I was so hurt and as defense mechanism, my brain just decided to remove some memories? But my brain is not that efficient as it seems to be because I can still remember those painful events but there are some things that I can’t seem to remember.

As you know in Psychology, the more emotional invoking the event is the more likely you to remember it. Hence, every painful, embarrassing and annoying memory in High School is still vivid in my mind but because I am so persistent on forgetting them, the neutral memories and happy memories got buried instead.

Maybe the reason why I am not a fan of my high school years because I easily associate it to the tears that I have shed. It seems like the bad events outweighs the good events when it barely comprises 20% of the entirety of my high school life. Maybe my High School life is not that grotesque as how I picture it to be. Maybe it is just a byproduct of how my brain twisted everything. Maybe High School was a marvelous stage of my life that has just branded negatively because I was deeply wounded by the people who mattered to me at that time.

Well, maybe I should start recollecting and regaining positive memories that I had in High School and prove to myself that my High School life was not bad as it seemed.

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